I had decions that I've put off for the fact of fear. It made eveything so complicated when I was so near. I couldn't accomplish my goal, I'm not even whole.

..

Never had I pictured it this way. Nothing went according to plan. There were so many fuck ups and mistakes I soon knew I would regret. But I took my chances anyway, and stuck with the outcome.

rant

Life is really coming to me now. I don't have to wait for weekends to have my fun. I could do what i want when I want. Especially since the nice weather is arriving I know summer 2010 is going to be great. I can't wait for school to be over, and I can't wait till I go to Cali. xoxo

Kiddo.

They say your true colors come out when your going through tuff times. I now see that you are a little shithead like the rest of them. Name calling won't get you anywhere, I understand that helps your ego but come on, did you really have to go that low? Do yourself the favor and grow up.

A lot on my mind.

I can't take the pressure anymore. Its building up it feels like I'm ready to burst any mintue now. I know I'm not perfect but I am surely capeable of many other things. As I try to gasp for another breath of air, my eyes are saying something thats not even there. I don't wan't to be different I just want to be me . It's so simple like an apple falling from a tree. Imagine me wandering aimlessly, hopelessly that so unlike me. When this sadness fades away thats just when my heart fails me.

"I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why."
— Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)